Do you find yourself lost by consistently worrying and caring what others think of you? You found yourself stuck at one point you don’t even know how to break free? Stop giving a damn of what others think of you!
The good thing is you made your first step by realizing it and just achieved the second step by clicking in this post. Now get to learn how to stop giving a damn what others think, cuz we don’t!
Before we start, do these situations below sound familiar to you?
- Annie went to bars every weekend, so she can upload some Instagrammable photos to show she has an amazing social life.
- Dave went to a high school gathering to catch up with people, he can’t even remember their names, but he still went so he can let everyone know how well he’s doing.
- Taylor has been single for 2 years, but she orders flowers to send to her office for herself every Valentine’s day, so the whole company thinks she has an amazing boyfriend.
Hope not, that sounds sad, doesn’t it! They tend to do things to cover up who they are BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO DAMN SCARED OF WHAT OTHERS THINK OF THEM.
Okay, that might be a little bit extreme, let’s come back to what most people are facing. Have you ever felt you’re living in someone’s shadow? Or getting mentally exhausted day by day just to try and make everyone happy, to fit in your family standard? Are you drained by it?
TIME TO GET YOUR LIFE BACK AND STOP GIVING A DAMN WHAT YOUR DAD, YOUR BOSS OR WHOEVER THINKS ABOUT YOU.
Step 1: Stop giving a DAMN of what others think of you.
Step 2 – VALUE yourself.
Before I start, here’s an example for you – If you have read my previous post 8 Ways To Find INSPIRATION Every Day To Refresh Your Life, you might wonder is it from the same author after reading this article? Yes, it was still me but it was me trying to make it sound formal and like other blog posts that come up on your google search engine. Then I realized that is not what I wanted on my blog, that was not even my tone of speaking (but 100% my thought of thinking).
Do you know almost everyone had experienced acting differently just because they care too much about what others think?
I’m sure we have or had that! That’s normal. But do you know when you care too much about what others think, it will let your insecurity slowly eat you up? And you will start to doubt and question yourself and one day, you feel drained and you realize there’s nowhere to find the confident and fearless inside you.
We were taught by the concept that we need to meet the standards of our parents, our teachers and when we grew up we then do things that meet society’s standards. It’s in our subconscious mind that we always need to meet someone’s standards, or you will be the bad one in the group. And we all know that is complete BS. But little do we know, we’re not only slowly losing ourselves while trying to be the ‘good one’, but also became a people pleaser.
Here are 2 quotes for you, save it and put it as your wallpaper.
I’m here to share 5 rules that HOW TO STOP GIVING A DAMN OF WHAT OTHERS THINK, and we all should remember and you should write it down on a note and stick it everywhere in your room, so you can remind yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY.
1. YOU DON’T NEED EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU
Joanne buys a gift for everyone at her office for every festival, just because she wants people to think she’s a generous, caring girl and they will like her.
The most popular reason why we give a damn of what others think of us is that we want everyone to like us, to accept us and we want to feel connected with others so we won’t feel outcasted, but yet we know that’s impossible.
You don’t need everyone to like you, on the opposite side, you don’t need to like everyone either!
There are too many types of people in the world, some of them are more quiet and shy, some are talkative and active. People might find them boring or annoying but none of them are wrong with their personalities. It’s all about clicking with people with the same kind of energy with you, or if you don’t feel connected with some other people, respect each other and fade out from each other’s life.
Don’t feel frustrated by not making friends with Jordan or Katherine, think of Julie who has been friends with you for years, because she genuinely cares about you and you can be yourself around her!
2. GOT REJECTED? THAT’S OKAY!
Did you know Facebook offered to merge with Myspace for $750 Million and got rejected… TWICE! And now Facebook is one of the biggest companies worth $68.2 Billion, and let’s not talk about where Myspace at…
Zuckerberg (CEO of Facebook) got rejected twice, by Chris DeWolfe (CEO of Myspace) from offering $75 Million to $750 Million, instead of getting frustrated by asking why he managed to increase Facebook value 100 times in just 2 years.
Believe in what you do and always remember the reason why you started. These are the only things you should be thinking of whenever you start questioning yourself. Maybe you’ll get rejected when you ask for support, or people just don’t even understand your concept but remember, DON’T LET ANY OF THOSE CHANGE YOU.
You might have dreams that others think it won’t work, or they even think you are an idiot to start with it, but you just need to keep doing it.
People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
3. DON’T BE ASHAMED IF YOUR LIFE IS NOT ‘BETTER’ THAN OTHERS
Being a princess/prince probably was every kid’s dream when they were 3, but if you know the truth of how princesses/princes lives, you probably wouldn’t be having that dream anymore. Yes, they can have as many Ferraris or houses they want, but are they being themselves, doing what they want while living under the Royal standards?
They have to follow rules because they are born that way, but you are not.
You don’t need to live like a celebrity by hanging out with those Tai Tais (Chinese: 太太, aka women who married to a wealthy husband that don’t need to work), when you are depending on your 9-5 jobs. Drinking the champagne that you can’t afford, just to let your Instagram followers think you are living in a sparkling bubble of life.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with working a 9-5 job. You might be waiting for an opportunity while working at a shitty job, or you could be saving up money to start your next journey, embrace it because it will bring you experiences of your own.
Never be ashamed of being in the position you are in at the moment, it’s all part of your journey and without it, you won’t reach your goal, you won’t be able to share the story to your grandchildren, about how far you made the life you earned one day.
You will be trapped in your life prison if you constantly act like a different person because of fear what others think of you. If you want to have the life you want, the first thing you need to do is BE YOURSELF.
4. LEARN TO SAY NO
If Roger is asking you to cover his shift because he has a pounding head from a hangover but you already have plans on the day, REJECT IT. If Jenny asking you to pick up something for her just because you are in that area but you are not free, REJECT IT. If I am asking you to share this blog post, DO IT! Jk if you don’t want to, REJECT IT too.
You don’t need to say yes just because you feel bad not to help. I am not telling you not to help others at all but if you have something else planned to do already you need to learn and SAY NO. If you don’t prioritize your time who will do that for you? Probably not even your mom!
Listen to your heart when it doesn’t feel right to say yes, it’s wasting time and energy if you force yourself to do things just so you don’t let people down, you will end up exhausted and wishing you could do something else instead.
Remember, you don’t owe anyone anything.
5. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Chantel flies to Paris to have an afternoon tea on every weekend and get new fancy bags. You work at a coffee shop in downtown as a part-time every weekend to earn extra money, so you can save enough to go to Paris and tick it off your bucket list – visit Effiel Tower.
If Chantel works hard for her life to get everything she truly deserves then you should learn from her, if she doesn’t need to work at all to have all of these from her family is her luck. You can not choose which family to be born in but you can always choose which life you want to live in.
It’s easy to go from millionaire to broke in one day but if you work hard to get what you want, all the experience you earned is your property, and you will easily rise again with those and unlike money, no one can take it from you.
None luxury bags are gonna make us look good, the life experience we gain in our 20s is what makes us special and intelligent. We can have as many Hermès bags as we want once we have built our life. Yes, it takes a long time but if you work hard enough you will get it eventually, and by then you won’t even care about what others have because you can have whatever you want.
Wasting energy to complain about why aren’t you a Kardashian or spending time to compare your life with others is where you start losing your confidence, you will doubt yourself because you think others are doing better than you, then you will start to sink in.. over and over again.
Use that energy to motivate yourself to complete your bucket list instead! One day you will thank them because they brought you where you at..well, sort of!
Don’t live in the prison you create for yourself, when you are on your death bed, you won’t regret the things you did but you will regret the things you didn’t do because you weren’t living the life you want.
Stop giving a damn of what others think! I hope today’s share brings you the key of your own prison, unlock it now and walk out with your head’s up and standard high 😉
See you in the next one.
B.Xx